eAs some of you who have followed me for some time now know, 7 days after I turned 20 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Layla.
At 20 you are suppose to be finding your way in life, not trying to raise a child. BUT [ for the record] raising a child was the result of my actions and...she is by far one of the BEST blessings in my life.
Laylas dad and I were so young when we had her. We still had yet to figure out who we were as human beings. So needless to say, when I decided to move back in with my mom shortly after Lays 3rd birthday...we both were not emotionally ready to deal with child support, court fees, attorney fees, SHARING Lay, ect...it was a disaster.
I remember some days when she would go with her dad literally feeling like I was going to die from a panic attack and anxiety. Not being able to be around your child 247 like I was use to for her whole life up until this point was so gut wrenching.
After the custody nightmare was over, a whole year later, there was [of course] a loop hole in our court order that made him and I have to agree outside of court on some dates for parenting time [I hate that phrase]. We were literally forced to go face to face after months of not being able to look at each other without wanting to rip each others heads off.
Coming from a divorced family I knew how horrible sharing her could be. I was week on week off with my mom and dad and it literally killed me [but made me stronger]. So moving forward, I knew what to avoid in order to preserve our daughters innocence and how to provide her with a stable co-parenting relationship. Which my mom and dad encouraged me to do even in the heat of our custody battle. THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!
Crazy how divine the Lords plan is and how everything is a lesson to teach us something. Even the not so enjoyable experiences we encounter in life.
It was NOT easy but we "maned" up, shook hands and said our sorry to one another. From that day on, it was the beginning of a healthy relationship for not only ourselves but our sweet precious daughter who just happened to be trapped in the middle of our custody nightmare.
SO MANY KIDS and adults go through this...and a lot of the time it is horrible for everyone involved. But I am here to show [and prove] to you that positive co-parenting is something that can and should be achieved. It makes life so much more enjoyable and worth living when two people can be adults for the sake of their future relationships and the children involved.
It is do-able but it takes time, patience and understanding. Not to mention an amazing support system which I was so blessed to have. Again, thanks mom and dad and grandma and aunties and uncles! I literally could not have done it without them picking me up after falling time and time again.
Now I am lucky to say, we have both re-married and are now happier than we ever were before trying to force our relationship to work.
Laylas new step-mom is one of the most amazing woman I've ever met. Not to mention her family who as also welcomed Layla with open arms and endless love. I am so blessed for someone in my daughters life that loves her, spends time with her, and fulfills all her needs when she is with her dad. I literally could not have hand picked anyone better to be such a significant role in my daughters life.
Our positive co-parenting is something we both work very hard at maintaining and it has made all the difference in the world for Layla. Its not always easy, but it is always worth it.
If you are someone who is going through this, first off understand you are not alone....although it [might] feel like you are. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is SO worth being patient enough to get to.
All my love,
Hey all! Im Amanda! A believer, wife, mother and a Love Yourself Lifestyle coach. Welcome to my blog. Enjoy!